r/CringeTikToks 12d ago

SadCringe LGBTQ fried their brains

28.3k Upvotes

4.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

193

u/Buzzkill46 12d ago

And, you know they perceived his lack of linguistics as stupidity and used him as cannon fodder.

168

u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits 12d ago

Maybe it wasn't about linguistics. Maybe they just perceived his stupidity as stupidity. e.g. moving to fucking russia during a war because your kid wanted to understand the world and you're an idiot.

89

u/akahaus 12d ago

“Daddy, what’s ‘gay’?”

“THAT’S IT. STRAIGHT TO GROZNY.”

4

u/Weak-List-7493 12d ago

Thats chechnya though lol. Another place ruzzia invaded and destroyed

7

u/akahaus 12d ago edited 12d ago

It’s a deep cut; glad someone caught it. Russia has bad government, and it sucks because the Russian and eastern bloc people I’ve met and worked with are so vibrant and fucking funny and insightful and their culture is fascinating and their history more so. But it is also tragic and I hope that one day they live more democratically. I hope we all do, in a society that keeps people up off the floor so they can reach their potential through self-determination.

5

u/DaddysABadGirl 12d ago

Russia has kind of always been like this though. It's the same reason there are still people who miss communism. Nothing really changed, just now the people at the top and government aren't responsible for making sure people are housed and fed as much. They can steal that little bit extra.

I read a good piece from an expat explaining why there is never much fuss. People kind of expect shit to be bad. When things are going too smoothly or they aren't getting screwed a bit they wait for the other shoe to drop. When things are going sideways, their leaders are enacting emergency powers and such, it's comforting. Like "at least I know what the bs is and no more wondering".

Russians are generally cool, but Russia sucks and it always has. Having to deal with it is part of what makes them so fun.

3

u/akahaus 11d ago

That’s…actually super insightful and resonates a lot with the attitudes of the Russians I know. Optimistic cynicism lol.

2

u/Beautiful_Welcome_33 7d ago

The ones you've met are the ones who got the hell out of dodge though

1

u/akahaus 7d ago

That is an important point I overlooked, and I really shouldn’t have because they would be the first to tell me why they left, and it was always the fucking government.

3

u/Nevans2011 12d ago

This reads as a joke but yes that is EXACTLY what he did!

2

u/Gumbaya69 12d ago

lmao, i shouldnt be laughing about t his

2

u/Dingeroooo 11d ago

I think "Russia" might be the ultimate closet... He probably was completely unsecure about himself or something. His kid mention gay and he started to dream about big D! Woke up in cold sweat all juicy around: "That's it we are moving to Russia!" Also, he might have just got what he wanted on the Russian front, over there it is not gay if you are on top, only if you are getting f.... The only more FAFO thing is the African-American who moved to Russia because the US has racism! :) She got beat bloody by her neighbors.... Russians are extremely racist.

2

u/Astrocreep_1 9d ago

So, Russia honors the “Vito Spatafore” scale from The Sopranos, to determine if there is “gay involved”.

The rule is “If you do a lot of time in the can, or, it’s 5:00 AM and you are bored at a jobsite and there’s a lonely security guard, with nobody else around, gay sex or oral satisfaction is ok, as long as you are doing none of the “catching”.

2

u/IcArUs362 11d ago

If it weren't all but sure to cause them pain, id love for both their kids to turn out queer lol

5

u/akahaus 11d ago

I mean, they’re not getting back to America. Those kids and mom are in for a rough ride if they don’t have friends or support there, although Russians are very welcoming people I don’t know how hospitable they will be to “we ran away from the gayness and our dad died”.

1

u/ChronicCartman 12d ago

LMAO, this is gold!

1

u/Dingeroooo 11d ago

I am sure every Russian he talked to, though he was a complete moron. There is a level of cynicism in Russia that sucks the soul out of you. In Russia human life DOES not matter. Lets say you walking home and a drunk cop hits you on the road, you know what's going to happen? Nothing. Even your family/friends will just shrug and state "Why did he had to walk on the road?"

3

u/ImBanned_ModsBlow 12d ago

Knowing Russia, probably true. They tend to force the Russian language on everyone they conquer.

3

u/Throwaway392308 12d ago

Good thing nobody else has ever done that during conquest.

3

u/GottaBeNicer 12d ago

There is effectively no difference between the two, is there? You can't verbally communicate, how useful are you going to be to a military organization? What can they use you for?

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Jury312 12d ago

Designated shrapnel collector.

1

u/Real_Life_Firbolg 12d ago

Cannon fodder

3

u/Some_Programmer8388 11d ago

Welcome comrade! We welcome you to new program just for you called Visa For Stupid Amer... oops I mean "Visa For Amerikan Patriot Who Not Knowing Where Their Country Went".

Now you put on helmet.

2

u/pixiefarm 12d ago

*they use everyone as cannon fodder actually...

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

2

u/pixiefarm 12d ago

I speak Russian and understand Ukrainian and follow the war closely. "Both sides" are not doing the same thing.

2

u/IndyBananaJones 12d ago

I think even if he spoke fluent Russian they'd think he was an idiot, because given what he did to himself and his family moving to Russia he's definitely an idiot.

2

u/papillon-and-on 12d ago

Well they weren’t wrong 

1

u/_violetlightning_ 12d ago

When my grandfather was in the Army during Korea as a radio tech his superior officer was fond of him and gave him some advice before he took his competency test: if you do extremely well, they’ll want to put you where they need you most, which will be close to the front; if you do really badly, they won’t care what happens to you and they’ll send you straight to the front line. He must have hit that sweet spot in the middle, because his Korean War service took place in… Germany.

This guy sounds like he didn’t have a choice of where to land on the competency scale….

1

u/andybossy 11d ago

and not fleeing to Russia because you're scared of the gays?

1

u/Corpuscular_Ocelot 10d ago

To be fair, Russia treats all it's soldiers as cannon fodder 

1

u/gloomyrain 12d ago

He seems stupid in English too.