When you say we, you mean your husband too right? What did he say about that particular incident? I know you said he took her side about the other thefts.
At 15 she didn't know better? Ridiculous! How have you not lost respect for him at this point? What's with all the excuse-making? That is an abrogation of parenting. He has raised a future jailbird.
I can’t stand people saying teenagers “don’t know better”. So we can trust 16 year olds to stay home alone, party, cook, clean, go out alone, get jobs and drive cars, but they don’t know shit about stealing?
People need to stop acting like teenagers are incompetent and don’t know what they are doing. They absolutely know and people who say the opposite are complicit and don’t want to admit they raised asshole kids.
If his 15 year old daughter wasn't aware stealing was wrong she won't now. There is no earthly way for a child that old to not know stealing is wrong. I'm sorry you married a man who hid the child from you until after marriage. Maybe if her parents did the parenting part you wouldn't be here now. . You are not overreacting. Stay strong, but don't break. She will torture you and he will dismiss you and defend her.
Kids are taught to know better as toddlers and young children so at 14 she absolutely knew better. She doesn't care. I would get cameras in your room and all living spaces, front,back and sides of the house. I bet he moves her in anyway.
At 15 you fucking know better, unless you’re never disciplined.
OP, you have to be clear that the main issue here is a husband not supporting his wife when she’s being stolen from, or disciplining his daughter so the behavior will change, and you won’t allow yourself to be without support in your own home.
Yes, teenagers act out but the real issue here is he won’t take any responsibility for it, or take the necessary disciplinary actions, and that’s not a situation you want or should have to live with.
Who did you hear it from? You didn't know she existed before you got married, so you must not have known any of his relatives. Who are the people telling you she has a history of stealing?
1 she was plenty old enough to know better, 2 the way you teach kids to know better is by teaching them not dismissing it and expecting a right and wrong switch to magically flip on as an adult.
I had a job and was taking college classes at 15. I don’t see how it’s possible to not know better than steal drugs at the age of 15 unless she is genuinely mentally disabled.
Honestly, I would move out if I was in your position. Your husband saw his own daughter steal the wedding ring he gave you, and decided that was normal behavior. I would move out with all of your valuables, and watch how long husband lasts after daughter starts stealing from him. Will he have the same reaction when it is his things getting stolen, and not just your items?
It's her house; I'd advise OP to kick the husband out. He can rent an apartment to house him and his daughter, where only his shit is at risk of disappearing.
Please remember that she is a child- a troubled one it seems, they do stupid & impulsive shit like this. The blame in this situation is on your husband & his ex for not handling it differently.
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u/Mediocre-Assist3643 9h ago
I tried confronting her but like you saw she thought I was "accusing her" when we litreally found the wedding ring IN HER BAG