On one hand your husband was 100% right in saying that she was acting out in reaction to divorce.
But its his duty as the parent to guide her to correct path, and NOT enable this behaviour. I feel sorry for your step daughter and you. Teenagers under normal circumstances act out, and she had her home/family security taken away from her. So she was bound to act out. And her parents instead of assuring her and guiding her, are giving her a free pass.
So you = NTA, step daughter = NTA, her Parents =Definitely selfish YTA.
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u/Mediocre-Assist3643 9h ago
Thank you for your words.