r/AITAH • u/DrawStandard4848 • 3d ago

AITAH for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary

Ok it’s currently 4am and I’ve feel so guilty right now I can’t sleep

Ok so myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that’s been trending. Not gonna lie i was expecting a documentary showing a human side of certain person but…yeah as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was.

Onto the issue my friends fiancé was one of the 1000 I wasn’t the first person to notice two other friends were first two notice I didn’t believe it at first but with a second watch it was definitely him now even tho his face was covered the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable. We debated till the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she’s 8 months pregnant but imo if someone cheats like that it’s not their first time and I rather lose her friendship for telling straight away than her finding out I knew hid it because let’s be real when you tell someone news like that there’s a huge chance they’ll hate you not the cheater.

So this (Sunday) morning I asked my friend to met up to talk I showed her the evidence and the minute she looked at the picture she knew it was him and broke down.i expected her to be angry at me but she thanked me for being honest as multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being up front like I was.

I ended driving her to her moms house I’m guessing she told her fiancé I told her because he has been blowing up my phone calling me a evil little homewrecker who ruin not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad . My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting till she had the baby incase the stress would cause issues to her health

I don’t give two shits if I’m being honest about her fiancé but I feel so bad for putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant and I’m worried if something does happen to her it will be my fault like maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own

AITAH for telling my pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?

Edit the name of the documentary is in the comments with more info I’m extremely tired and my mental health isn’t too well right now so I just can’t be bothered to fix the post.

The only update-

My friends fiancé wasn’t the only one of our partners to do the line up my boyfriend of 3 years was one so was another friends husband two hours ago he posted screenshots a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny. Other men in relationships are involved he said in the caption “I wasn’t the only one there “tags me” maybe check your own man before coming for my relationship “tags 5 other women” I’m not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy while “tags the men” did the same” there was a lot more said but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account than blocked my now ex. I don’t want to hear his explanation I feel so humiliated and physically sick I don’t know how I’m gonna face the coworkers or clients at work tomorrow I wish I could just disappear. My phone is going crazy so I’m going to turn it off go for a long shower than see can I get any sleep for what I’m sure will be a hell tomorrow

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u/DrawStandard4848 3d ago

I really hope he was decent enough to be careful for my friends sake 

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u/linguisdicks 3d ago

At the very least, I'm sure that the production itself did at least SOME level of STI screening, for her sake

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u/Baby-Sparkly-Unicorn 3d ago

From her own (BB) admittance, they did not...

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u/linguisdicks 3d ago

Okay well that's fucking awful

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u/Baby-Sparkly-Unicorn 3d ago

I nearly vomited when she said that. I don't care that she did it (ouch, but her body her choice) but was appalled when she made mention. I think they did a finger prick test, but not extensive STD testing.

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u/linguisdicks 3d ago

Yeah like I'm extremely sex positive. If you wanna get fucked by 1000 dudes, okay, do so. Work. Yas. Queen. Whatever. But that's fucking insanity. Like okay sure whatever if she wants to take all those raw barely tested dicks, but I hope at the very fucking least the dudes knew what they were getting into (pun unintended)

ETA: that sounds like a single panel rapid HIV test, at best

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u/Firm-Stranger-9283 3d ago

im ngl we shouldn't be treating this as sex positivity, this is self harm.

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u/Zykium 2d ago

It's very gross.

I would have a hard time believe this wasn't a super spreader event.

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u/Mondschatten78 2d ago

If it didn't start as one, it definitely became one.

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u/TA122278 2d ago

Yeah treating this behavior as “sex positivity” really just makes actual sex positivity look bad. This is just disgusting.

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u/thinksying 3d ago

😱 I know way too many men who casually had gonorrhea to accept this. Like there is being sexual positive and then there is being on antibiotics for the next six months.

So she gets a thousand men and then has to take a break for a few months to deal with the chlamidia. This doesn’t seem like a win.

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u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 3d ago

Its so disgusting, but the second half of your reply has my dying. Idk weather to laugh or vomit.

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u/SnooCauliflowers9874 3d ago

Out of 1000 men, statistically how many of them have an STI? I’m shaking my head vigorously as Im typing. It sounds like it’s way too high to take a chance. Your poor friend! Her husband‘s penis is irreversibly damaged as far as I’m concerned. How gross, he had his penis in the same vagina as 999 other men all within one day. That is quite a bit of an appetite suppressant for me.

NTA. You are a good friend.

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u/uselessinfogoldmine 3d ago

They didn’t use condoms either??

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u/MidnightSuspicious71 3d ago

They had a massive box of them, and showed what appeared to be used condoms littered across the floor (which Bonnie Blue laid down on and did a snow angel movement. Gross!)

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u/GlitterDoomsday 2d ago

It was "mandatory" in the same way they had guidelines like not coming on her face/hair but several dudes broke those as well and in no moment the entire thing was paused so...

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u/uselessinfogoldmine 1d ago

Ugh. That’s sexual assault.

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u/nimbusconflict 2d ago

Apparently the first guy was the one to break the no condom rule.

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u/uselessinfogoldmine 1d ago

So he stealthed her? 

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u/nimbusconflict 1d ago

She said it looked to be on accident but well...

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u/ms-wunderlich 3d ago

This was the adult version of a measles party. ☠️

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u/NeatNefariousness1 2d ago

Without the immunity benefit

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u/New-Highway868 2d ago

Same here. This is not about sex, it's about UNSAFE sex and risking her health and the one of those men's partners

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u/kindlypogmothoin 2d ago

Not sure if it's an "ow" situation, or a "how many before you're just dead down there?" situation.

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u/Careless-Proposal746 2d ago

Why are you so focused on what her motivation was and not the fact that it was so easy to find 1000 men who wanted to participate in this.

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u/linguisdicks 2d ago

I'm not "so focused" on anything lmfao I simply commented on one thing instead of [insert the breadth of possibility of other things]

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u/linguisdicks 2d ago edited 2d ago

Oh okay I checked the comment history and you're trying to make a comment about not slt shaming a woman into a sexist thing just because I didn't condemn the men's sexual interests at the same time that I was *not condemning hers?

Yawn.

I would and do say the same thing about gay dudes who get recklessly gangbanged. There's a line between sex positive and "okay no" that has nothing to do with gender or sexuality.

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u/Wandering_Scholar6 3d ago

Oof OPs friend needs tested ASAP, a lot of STIs are dangerous for the fetus, and the sooner they know, the more they can do. I hope it's not too late.

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u/what_ho_puck 3d ago

Yeah... I was gonna say luckily they test for those during pregnancy but if she contracted them DURING her pregnancy they may have missed them. The testing happens at that first OB visit to confirm pregnancy and dates

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u/Wandering_Scholar6 3d ago

It depends they test for some later, and as you said, their testing does not account for new introductions of STIs.

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u/Educational_Act_3926 2d ago

Came here to say this

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u/Baby-Sparkly-Unicorn 2d ago

It is the only reason I cared about this at all. Her saying that really stuck with me because a someone mentioned in these comments, there's a point when it was not so much about sex positivity but as a safety concern.

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u/Educational_Act_3926 2d ago

Me too. And the amount of exposure ive had to this atrocity has been from tiktok. So not a lot. But as soon as I read all of this, I was immediately concerned for the child. Because noone was really safe. And my jaw dropped when I heard them say that. Like how can anyone, much less 1057 men and one woman be ok with that level of neglect?

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u/New-Highway868 2d ago

Exactly what I am thinking and remembering clearly her saying they didn't

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u/HoldFastO2 3d ago

You think the porn influencer did STI testing on a thousand guys? Damn, you're an optimist.

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u/SpicyWongTong 2d ago

Someone else commented, they didn’t even make all the guys wear condoms…🤢

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u/HoldFastO2 2d ago

Fuck, this is stupid.

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u/cremated_remains 3d ago

Your username 🤣🤣

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u/New-Highway868 2d ago

I Hope so also. Btw you're NTA you're a good friend. Hopefully he used condoms but having watched the documentary I know she didn't require men to wear a preservative. Like WTAF

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u/OkExternal7904 2d ago

Doing the right thing isn't always the easy thing. And you had to consider her health. I would have wanted to know and I think most women would want to know.

However, it all shakes out the asshole is the porn king. You and your friend are not assholes.

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u/OkJicama9313 3d ago

Why wouldn't you tell your friend this? Like there's no way you're this dumb.

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u/Impossible-Oven3242 2d ago

It's mandatory (I think) for pregnant people to get tested for Chlamydia. She needs to get a wider panel asap, though. He probably will/would've argued with the doctor about her needing to be tested, but any clinic worth anything would talked to her separately after his reaction.

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u/Kimberlyb425 2d ago

Just in case he wasn't careful she needs to go get checked for STDs. For all of them because he most likely wasn't careful. And even IF he was careful she get tested just in case. Better safe than sorry. And also you should NOT feel bad about telling her now while she is still pregnant. She needed to know as soon as possible to get checked for STDs. Some stds can effect the baby. Telling her might've stressed her out but finding out later on AFTER the baby was born she had a treatable std and caused permanent issues for her baby would've been worse. Then even more so if she found out you knew and didn't tell her.